One.

So he should be tall, but not too tall, he should have dark eyes, he should make me laugh and know how to talk to me, he should like my music and be able to swap wardrobes occasionally, he should be determined and have a plan, he should always want to hold my hand and cuddle me to sleep, he should be someone like…..

That image that you create of your perfect partner, your ideal type, most people I’ve met have said, oh no I don’t have a type I just go for someone who does this or does that, like make them laugh or like their music, but then that’s a type isn’t it?

I find that in most people or maybe just my own experiences, they have created these types, this criteria based on someone they have previously dated or just randomly met, and that person whatever it was about them has stuck in their head, stood out as something that made them feel special, just for a moment, just for a time when it seemed like there really wasn’t anyone out there for them, and from that encounter they’ve picked out those pieces and made a mould in their heads, that they’ll then try to get every new partner to fit in to, I find with mine personally its someone I had only met a handful of times over the years, but he had made such an impact on me with his look, his attitude, his brown eyes, his kiss, even though I hardly knew anything about him like his life outside of the time I knew him, but then isn’t that better in a way? Or is it worse?

Better because by keeping the contact and actual information about the person intimately, like their personality, their lives, their past, to an absolute minimum, you aren’t disrupting the image of your perfect partner and the feeling they give yourself whenever you hear their name, see their face, talk to them, because if you found out something that you didn’t like, your mould would be damaged.

Worse because you just have these unrealistic expectations for any future partner, it’s such a rare thing to find someone who will ever take the place of anyone you really want, anyone who has made you smile, made your heart race and your palms sweat over the feeling they give you, people don’t usually settle, because really, after you meet that one that sets the criteria, no one will ever be good enough.

So really, what are we supposed to do? just stop having these set guidelines for what we want, or just not have all our hopes hung up on finding someone like the person who set them in the first place.

We all need that one. Even if they aren’t really our one. Even if he isn’t really my one.