It’s interesting how many times people I know decide on a partner based on the “shoulds” of other people rather than their own instincts and what they want for a real relationship and real feelings, having said that real love is something you have to work at, it doesn’t just fall into your lap and magic off the TV screen when you’re watching a film. You just have to be honest with yourself and don’t settle, I used to settle so much, which basically the only box I had to tick was “Anyone’s fine”, I just became more stern and strict with myself, and asked myself, which I wished people would do around me, “are the boxes my partner ticks mine or are they what others think is right for me?” If those ticks are things that seem good on paper but aren’t important to you, they’re just things that sound like values of a knight on a white horse or some other fictional character that just isn’t real, maybe you’re not getting butterflies for a good reason. If, on the other hand, people value the person they’re with and who they are, maybe it’s about working on the romance. The second thing people need to do is talk to each other. I can’t count on all the fingers on my hand, toes on my feet and hairs on my head, how many times there was no conversation, no exchange of ideas, values, thoughts or anything to structure the base of the relationship, I always see it, is if you want to be in the relationship and make it work, you will make plans for the future, because you subconsciously and consciously see you still working on it and being together in the months to come, maybe making a plan to be more spontaneous and try to inject some passion or events will make less of I “should” be with them, to more of an I “want” to be with them, and if there are still no flutters, maybe the relationship you find yourself in just wasn’t meant to be, and you should be more realistic in the future.
